How to win as a girlie girl in a man's world
Earlier this week we heard that 29-year-old former White House communications director Hope Hicks is moving to Los Angeles to take up a job as the chief communications director for FOX-- the parent company for Fox News.
Quite a few people found this surprising. Why is Hope, a good-looking former model, who is often the center of attention wherever she is, going to take an off-camera comms job when she can be making so much money in front of the camera? After all, 'it pays to be hot!'
A lot of younger/softer women know the answer to this already. For those who don't, the answer is this: getting ahead in a male-dominated industry can be tough if nobody takes you seriously. You often get low-balled, underestimated, and sometimes walked all over by bitter male peers who think they should have gotten a higher position than you did, or a higher salary, or a better career outlook, if not for the fact that you have boobs.
Now, I'm not one of those people who believes in institutionalized sexism. Sure-- sexism exists, but it does in the same way almost any sort of preconceived notion exists: not without basis. Having boobs isn't everything, but it does change the playing field drastically in certain industries.
It would be a nice world if everybody got ahead purely by the same standards; but one of the main ingredients for any business or career is social networking and likability, and women are generally both biologically and psychologically more equipped in that department. Don't blame me for that; blame evolution.
As I mentioned in a previous blog post, one of the perks of being female is that men are more likely to buy you things, merely in order to impress you or for the chance of hanging out with you. And that sometimes includes helping you with career opportunities that you wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Knowing that, other men may try to even out the playing field to your disadvantage.
It doesn't make your female traits a disadvantage; it just makes them a hot commodity that you haven't yet learned to monetize.
So if you're one of those women who doesn't feel like she's benefiting from market's demand for social likability and boobs, and would rather be taken seriously on a different kind of merit (i.e. your IQ), this is for you:
1. Be confident.
As far as I'm concerned, this is all you need in order to succeed at anything. In the free market, you set your own price. And wholeheartedly slapping a high price tag on yourself is a talent in itself-- if it weren't, everybody would be doing it.
Being confident is hard. We humans are naturally attached to our fears; confidence would force us to divorce our fears and insecurities.
Have you ever noticed that the most successful people in the world are often also the world's most self-absorbed narcissists? The truth is, that's why they're successful and not the people calling them that. Abnormally successful people tend to be the only ones brave enough to believe in themselves at the rate they do-- so much, that their level of faith in themselves is perceived by ordinary people as "narcissism."
Nobody underestimates or low-balls an exceptionally confident person. Man or woman-- it just doesn't happen.
2. Become an expert in a field that doesn't majorly benefit from female traits.
Since most people don't possess the level of confidence I'm talking about straight off the bat, it helps to build your confidence in fields you feel insecure about; fields that don't require your female likability traits.
Stay away from on-camera work, modeling, performing, hosting, etc. And build in areas of expertise that you're interested in, such as math, history, science, business, law, or writing. Not only will working in these fields help you build the expertise you need to be taken seriously; you will start to act more confident in your own skin.
Remember, just because a woman's hotness brings in the cash, doesn't mean she's taking it home. The more alert go-getter is going to be raking in the money on your behalf. So know your shit.
3. Work with other women.
Working with other women, preferably those on the same attraction level as you, will likely help you feel more like a person with marketable skills and less like somebody's inadvertent date. Other women who share your attractiveness level are less likely to be distracted by your female traits.
This isn't necessary for everyone, but it worked wonders for me. I work in person and go to school mostly with women right now, and I couldn't feel more productive. Not to trash on men. In fact, I love hanging out with men-- just not when I'm trying to advance my career and the men around me can only think of one thing I can help advance for them.
If you're working in a male-dominated industry, chances are that as a woman, you are a hot commodity for men who feel tired of work and just want to have some fun. Why would they waste a relationship with you on business when they already have all these other guys to fill their business-related needs? If you find yourself in this kind of world, it might help to save the majority of your male acquaintances for post-work downtime and dates.
4. Become your own boss.
Of course, when you're your own boss, none of this stuff matters. You can start do whatever you want, in whatever industry, when you want, with whom you want, and the best part is you get to take home whatever cash you bring in.
Honestly, it all evens out at the end of the day. For every man who will give you a leg up in your career because you're hot, there'll be another man who will throw you obstacles because you're hot. It doesn't make you oppressed; it makes you part of a natural world balance. Trying to disrupt that balance, as modern feminists are trying to do, would escalate things to the point of imbalance where men and women will no longer be able to work or do business with each other. That's already happening.
So take what you want out of it. Take advantage of the good stuff you're offered, and say no when you don't feel like reciprocating, and as long as you're being honest and grateful to those around you, the power will follow.