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The dating game every girl should be playing this weekend


If you're a woman of the 21st century, you have most likely heard of the dating game-- i.e., the universal secret to courting masculine men. And you heard about it like so:

"A man is a natural conquerer. He likes to conquer and his conquest is you. And so, you have to always make him feel like there is more to conquer. Never show how interested you are. Never initiate contact. Wait for him to make a move. Men don't like clingy women. If you show how interested you are, he will not feel like he is conquering anything and will walk away."

Well, I'm calling bullshit once and for all.

The real dating game has nothing to do with the male-female dynamic, and everything to do with intrinsic power. You can hold your true feelings back all you want-- if you are feeling weak inside, it will become obvious sooner or later.

The real dating game is about being yourself and doing whatever the heck you want. Own your feelings. And that includes initiating contact with a man when you want and how you want. From a position of power, not of weakness. He has to feel you want him, not need him.

Trust me, it works. You may actually be coming on strong-- physically, mentally, emotionally-- but as long as it's coming from a place of power, he is yours. (And don't kid yourself. Be honest with yourself whether you need, or want the person you are chasing.)

Here are the three possible outcomes for you following your heart when you see a man you like:

1. He liked you back and was too shy to admit it.

2. He didn't like you at first but warmed up to you after getting to know you.

3. He is disgusted by you for whatever reason and starts avoiding you. In that case, f*** him! I mean, not literally. You know what I mean.

Avoid being with a man because you feel bad for him. No man wants to be your freaking charity case. Men loathe that, in fact. They'd rather you spat in their face and called them names than spend time with them because you were trying to be "nice." That's not "nice." That's weak.

Women are just the same, by the way. It has little to do with gender dynamics. Nobody wants to spend time with someone who needs them. What happens when that person no longer needs me? you think. Is he going to vanish? Everybody wants to feel loved and worshipped for what they are, not what they need.

And that's why we women often gravitate toward the "bad boys" or the "rebels." We like to berate ourselves for wanting such "godless" and "selfish" men; but there's a voice at the back of our minds, the voice we're deliberately ignoring, which says: "I want to be with a man who has the power to choose things in his life and yet still chooses to be with me." So we continue to run after the "bad boys."

Not that we're always successful; in fact, half the time we fail at finding the healthy ones because we so easily fall for the fakers. The ones who use the 'bad boy' facade to mask their intimacy issues.

And that's okay!

Fakers weed themselves out. After being with you for a couple of weeks or months, the faker will do you a huge favor and stop answering your calls. The worst thing you can do in a relationship with a faker is try to prolong it by playing into the lack of intimacy in your relationship and acting aloof when it really bothers you. If he's faking and dating you for an ulterior motive, wouldn't you want to know that now and not five years from now when you've already lost some of your youth?

Girls, this should be your new dating rule: No more holding yourself back.

If you like a guy, and he checks your boxes, go for it. Don't worry about how much he likes you back. Don't worry about what people will say, or whether you're being 'too interested' in him, or whether you're coming off as 'clingy' or 'crazy'. Once you start playing into that silly mindset, you have ALREADY lost the dating game.

Most men want to feel loved and pursued by a woman. But a lot of men still get weirded out by assertive women, and it often has to do with the fact that men are so pressured by society to be the 'masculine' ones, who do all the chasing and decision-making. If such a man feels like you are being more assertive than he's being, he may feel emasculated because of his own social expectations.

So what? You can change that by showing him that you still see him as a real man; and in fact, you see him as even more of a man for not feeling threatened by you.

Nobody wants to live in a world where fear operates their relationships. And I bet you're not an exception. So let the manhunt begin; be bold, follow your heart, and have fun! And who knows-- you might meet somebody who is just as bold as you are.

#dating #men #women #power

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